Self-Care

Muslimah Musings on the journey of life

Photo by Victoria Aleksandrova on Unsplash

As salaamu alaikum and good day,

You matter. I know you have heard that often lately. Or maybe you have not. Maybe you have heard it but not often enough. You matter. You matter because you are a creation of Allah and He says He has not created anything without a purpose. That includes you. You are one of His creations. You in your perfectly imperfect form. Or really your form is perfect, it is your perception that is flawed. How so? Because Allah is perfect and everything He creates is perfect. Whatever we see as a flaw is due to our own perception of perfection and imperfection.

Next, you are where you are supposed to be at this time in your life and it is the perfect place for you. Your life is exactly what it is supposed to be. Your health. Your wealth. Your family. Your position. Your work. Your education. It is all exactly where it is supposed to be. Doing exactly what it should be doing. Everything is as it should be. We praise Allah in all situations and circumstances.

Shaykh Al Albani, may Allah have mercy on him, was asked a question to which he gave a very long answer but in that answer was a simple phrase that has had me thinking since I read it. The question was about the permissibility of voting and participation in government offices. The Shaykh said no (as I said the answer was long and I am literally shortening it to get to my point.) and so the questioner asked what is the alternative, to which the shaykh responded ‘…the alternative is, in the words of Allah, the exalted:

And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way out for him. And will provide for him from where he percieves not.

Quraan 65:2-3

How often do we ask for alternatives? How often do we try to force our way through a situation instead of accepting and fearing Allah and letting Allah do His job?

When self-care became a popular topic (maybe it still is) all I heard about was mani-pedis and I felt some kind of way because I have never been a mani pedi kind of girl. Even Muslim women were saying mani-pedi, get your hair done, buy yourself nice things, etc. But I heard none say learn more Islam, pick up your Quran, memorize a new surah, etc. This is also self-care. And it is part of self-care that we fall short, and Allah knows best, because when we are in the depths of our struggles sometimes we forget who is actually in control and it sure ain’t us lol. This is where trusting Allah comes in and that is the highest form of self-care. Sometimes, in fact most if not all the time we need to let go of our human desire to be in control and watch how Allah beautifully handles our affairs. The beauty may not always be apparent but for sure when you reflect on where you were, where you are, and where you could be (especially if you had what you wanted) for sure you would be where you are having what you have and Allah knows best. And this is what we want to be grateful in all situations remembering that nothing is ever all bad. There is balance. There is ease with every difficulty and ease that precedes and comes after the difficulty. Think about it. Your life in the hardest moments has had some ease somewhere. Sometimes we are so entrenched in the hardship though that we forget to look for the good. Hence in Surah Baqarah after divorce Allah mentions to not forget about the salah. When we are going through extreme hardship and tests we tend to forget the good and what will keep us afloat is the good. Neglecting the good deeds are one of the reasons we end in despair.

So, I say part of our self-care needs to be reminding ourselves that our life is what Allah has decreed and while we can alway make better choices and learn more so we can be better people we cannot change where we have been . In fact, it is because of where we were that we are here now. And if here now is that we are getting closer to Allah then our lesson was well learned.

With love, Mina